Ana,
I hate you. You say I am in control -but you are. You tell me I will be beautiful -but it's never enough. You tell me to be strong -but you make me weaker. You tell me I am not worth it -but God tells me I am. Why do I cling to you? Why can't I escape? Why do you always pull me back into your prison. You tell me you'll make me happy -but I've never been more depressed than when you are with me. My hate doesn't seem strong enough to break us apart. I feel like I need you, that without you I'm worthless -but with you I have potential. But then I come back to you, and I remember why I left. You are slowly killing me....and you don't care. I hate you. Why can't my hate be strong enough to rid myself of you. Perhaps it's because when I'm with you, my hate for myself is stronger. I can't fight this hate to hate alone. God's love is the only thing that can break these bonds that imprison me. With Him in control I am His beautiful daughter created in His own image, although I am weak He is strong. He tells me He loves me... He LOVES me. He tells me I am worth it, He sent His Son Jesus to die for ME, because He love me. He is the only true peace... He will never leave me, He will stay with me, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14 ...... With you Ana I am always lacking, always hungering, always discontent and selfish... With God "I shall not be in want" Psalm 23:1.... Why would I choose you Ana? What do you have to offer me? Misery? Deceit? You slither your way into my life, and I let you. God give me the strength to leave you once and for all. You were everything I wanted, and now that I have you, you are nothing I want. Leave me alone, God has a plan for my future, a beautiful amazing incredible plan... and you aren't a part of it.

God's precious daughter,

Psalm 23
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.