Courage

Courage ~Superchick

verse 1
I told another lie today
And I got through this day
No one saw through my games
I know the right words to say
Like "I don't feel well," "I ate before I came"
Then someone tells me how good I look
And for a moment, for a moment I am happy
But when I'm alone, no one hears me cry
[chorus]
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
verse 2
I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful
The day I chose not to eat
What I do know is how I've changed my life forever
I know I should know better
There are days when I'm OK
And for a moment, for a moment I find hope
But there are days when I'm not OK
And I need your help
So I'm letting go
[chorus]
bridge
You should know you're not on your own
These secrets are walls that keep us alone
I don't know when but I know now
Together we'll make it through somehow
(together we'll make it through somehow)
[chorus]

Ana,
I hate you. You say I am in control -but you are. You tell me I will be beautiful -but it's never enough. You tell me to be strong -but you make me weaker. You tell me I am not worth it -but God tells me I am. Why do I cling to you? Why can't I escape? Why do you always pull me back into your prison. You tell me you'll make me happy -but I've never been more depressed than when you are with me. My hate doesn't seem strong enough to break us apart. I feel like I need you, that without you I'm worthless -but with you I have potential. But then I come back to you, and I remember why I left. You are slowly killing me....and you don't care. I hate you. Why can't my hate be strong enough to rid myself of you. Perhaps it's because when I'm with you, my hate for myself is stronger. I can't fight this hate to hate alone. God's love is the only thing that can break these bonds that imprison me. With Him in control I am His beautiful daughter created in His own image, although I am weak He is strong. He tells me He loves me... He LOVES me. He tells me I am worth it, He sent His Son Jesus to die for ME, because He love me. He is the only true peace... He will never leave me, He will stay with me, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14 ...... With you Ana I am always lacking, always hungering, always discontent and selfish... With God "I shall not be in want" Psalm 23:1.... Why would I choose you Ana? What do you have to offer me? Misery? Deceit? You slither your way into my life, and I let you. God give me the strength to leave you once and for all. You were everything I wanted, and now that I have you, you are nothing I want. Leave me alone, God has a plan for my future, a beautiful amazing incredible plan... and you aren't a part of it.

God's precious daughter,

Psalm 23
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

What is art?

Art- the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance...

Art, a short glimpse into the very depths -the core- of the artist. A statement. A manifestation brought on by inspiration and ambition. An eagerness to proclaim and declare.

For some things there are no words....

Art


"Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God."
Ecclesiastes 5:7

Lanterns and Blindfolds

A path winds through a forest so pitch black you could drown in it. Someone stands at the entrance frozen, afraid to move forward, but unable to turn back. In front of them lies a lantern and a blindfold. To your utter astonishment, the person foolishly takes the blindfold and binds it around their eyes. They begin to stumble about in the sinister and suffocating darkness, oblivious to their surroundings. You rush over to them saying "What are you doing? Why didn't you take the lantern?", but the person answers you "I don't need the lantern! I know what I'm doing! And I don't need you to tell me what to do!". So you stand there and watch as they stumble about some more, making no progress what so ever. They trip and fall over hidden objects. Puzzled you wonder why they didn't choose the lantern. You walk over and pick it up. On the underside is written in plain bold writing "Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in the darkness, the Lord will be my light." You pick up the lantern and look around you. Nailed to a tree is a small piece of paper, you go over and examine it. The paper is old and dirty, and looks as if it's been sitting unread for a very very long time. You brush off some of the dust, and manage to read "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." You hold up the lantern and look about you once more, you see the blindfolded person still stumbling about foolishly unable to understand why on earth they wouldn't want the help being offered them. There is no chance what so ever that they could succeed on their own without the lantern, but in their blindness, they fail to recognize that. Finally you decide you've had enough of this. You march over to the person and tear the blindfold from their face, and in your astonishment and horror, you realize...the face behind the blindfold is your own........ Why do we have so much trouble trusting God to be our light, to lead and guide us? Why do we choose to stumble about blindly, instead of submitting to Him and admitting that we DO need His help, and we DO need His guidance? Why do we stubbornly refuse the Light Of The World in exchange for darkness? We need to remove our blindfold and pick up our lantern, let Him be the Lamp unto your feet and the Light unto your path :)

Today.... kinda hard... kinda stressful..... kinda depressed...... it was after a long rehearsal, I was sore, disgustingly sweaty and completely exhausted... I was heading back to my dorm for quiet time (which usually means a nap), when I felt the urge to read my bible. Ever have that feeling that God is nudging you to do something? Well that's how it was... I was like "ohhh come on! I'm so tired! Whyyy do I have to read my bible now??? Why can't I just pick it up later????" I was getting kinda frustrated, but I finally gave in and picked up my bible study booklet to prepare for the lesson I have to lead Monday... I started reading, and God sent waves of peace and refreshment over me. Not only was I well rested at the end of quiet time, I was filled with an unexplainable joy! It was incredible! And I really couldn't wait to get back to my bible study. I was excited about God, and I was excited to be excited about God:) Pretty awesome.....

What a wonderful day for a picnic
What a picnical day for a lark
We shall frolic all day in the happiest way
And we won't get back home until dark!

Good times:) It's an absolutely glorious day out. The sun is smiling, the grass is green and friendly, and the air is filled with the sounds of chirping birds and the annoying and yet comfortably familiar buzz of lawnmowers proclaiming the coming of summer. *sigh* I wish I could freeze with moment in my mind wrap it up and carry it with me for always. It's the perfect sort of day where you could enjoy a splendid walk, kick back and be lazy and simply soak in the cheerful vibes of the atmosphere. *smile*

I AM NOT AN IDIOT! I am not ugly or stupid or worthless or any of the others that I'm daily reminded of. There is no way to become "immune" to hurt. You can pretend to be. Locking it all away into the darkest, smallest, more obscure closet in your heart. But it's there nonetheless. Poking at you and pricking you with daily reminders. They want me to fail, they want me to be hurt, and they want me to give up, surrender. I can't live like this. I am breaking. I'm hurting. And I'm sick and tired. I will not give up, I will stand strong, I will not give up, I will not give up, I will not give up...I'm groping on the edge of a canyon, the rocks are biting into my fingers as I struggle to get my feet back on steady ground. I am praying for a miracle, a superior strength to rescue me. IDIOT! You're worthless... you mean nothing... you're stupid, you're ugly, no one cares, just give up, you are nothing........HELP!!! God give me the strength! I can't do this alone! Please rescue me from this! I need you... please......... Don't give up my precious daughter, I love you more than you can ask or imagine. You are my jewel, my most precious treasure, and I love you with an undying love that you cannot fathom. You were created in My own image, and you are beautiful. You are mine. I am on your side and with Me you can never fail..................................
...... No one cares about you, no one loves you, you're stupid, worthless, idiot...why don't you accept it.... everyone knows it's true... even you... NO! NO! It's not true! God give me strength! I'm struggling under this burden!!!...... I am here, and I love you soooooo much... Let me bandage your wounds for you, let me pick you up and carry you, let me take you to a higher ground, a resting place, everything is alright now. I'm here my daughter, I love you...You don't need to worry, I'm here...for always and forever :)